November 16, 2011

Stillness

I had a dream last week. The convincing kind; so real until moments after fully awake.

We’re being driven. In the back of a towncar. I’m the good kind of nervous.  That inviting nook in His shoulder? He shifts for me to lean into it. Shy, wary, my head rests there. Cautious millimeters of tension relax into yards of ease.

Upward, His palm faces me: Can I hold you? Again, I rest. This time fingers in His. Entwined with purpose, as if setting a foundation to last a lifetime. As if He’s secretly pressing the moon into my hand; a gift to light up my darkest nights. A way to tell me the ebbs and flows of life’s tides are in His hands. Without a word, He’s solemn and hopeful and serious and charming.

I’m quieted. Dashing thoughts, maddening worries, door-pounding prayers, a thousand anxious whens? lobbed upward every minute of every day… all which robs stillness, steps aside. Here, in the quieting, I relinquish my grip on the second hand of the clock. I’ve been hanging off its cold sharp edges, willing time to move quicker. To force answers to arrive sooner and move through fears faster. My hands are raw from clinching every second.

As the weave of our fingers tighten, this is the haven my heart has needed, the elusive rest fought and flailed and wildly sought. This stillness within me is perhaps what He’s waited for before He could offer it.

C.S. Lewis is correct. “You can’t, in most things, get what you want if you want it too desperately: anyway, you can’t get the best out of it. ‘Now! Let’s have a real good talk’ reduces everyone to silence. ‘I must get a good sleep tonight’ ushers in hours of wakefulness. Delicious drinks are wasted on a really ravenous thirst.

“Was it my own frantic need that slammed {the door} in my face? The time when there is nothing at all in your soul except a cry for help may be just the time when God can’t give it: you are like the drowning man who can’t be helped because he clutches and grabs. Perhaps your own reiterated cries deafen you to the voice you hope to hear.” ~A Grief Observed

The voice that says, “Be still.” Yes, that, there. That seemingly impossible stillness? How, how do we get there? Thousands of years ago these words spoke this ancient instruction: withdraw, forsake, refrain. From what, or perhaps whom, is for each to determine on their own.

But know this –… that nook? Yes, His shoulder, His hand… they’re there for you to sink into. Withdraw to. Forsake others for. Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty {Psalm 91:1}.

Maybe just today, right this moment, stop, breath. Accept His palm. Rest your head and whisper knowingly, Truly my soul finds rest in God {Psalm 62:1}. Wash your hands of the longing ceaseless thoughts, petitions, fears, doubts. Take His hand. Be still.

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xoxo,
Sam

Comments

  1. I absolutely love this, and needed it so, so much just now. It’s definitely something I’ve been learning lately, and it’s always helpful to hear it in fresh words–seeing someone else’s perspective always gives me a better understanding. Thank you!!

    • So sweet Brittany. Simply blesses my heart, your words. I pray the Lord gives His kindness and grace in new measures to you friend. xoxo

  2. beautiful. thank you.

  3. Carol Bruntlett says:

    Thank you for this I needed to read this have to much stuff going on right now looking for a job and all
    Help my soul to truly find rest in You Lord
    Carol

    • Lord, i pray, please… would you send carol a job tonight. right very soon. please. we ask that you shorten this season and give her rest on every side. thank you Jesus. Amen. xoxo

  4. Simply lovely, Sam… I also enjoyed your Chasing Peace post.

    It seems like the blustering storm of upcoming holiday activities and additional family worries consume my days lately. This morning, especially after reading your post, echoing in the back of my mind I hear beautiful music: It is well…It is well….with my soul…with my soul….

    On a bright note of thanksgiving, my mother-in-law got a good report at the doctor today before starting her third round of chemo. Hope. Beautiful, precious, priceless hope.

    • Thank you Emilea! Sometimes I don’t know what the Lord is doing is doing in my life till i see a theme in my posts 🙂 Peace and stillness is threading through my fabric.

      I pray the Lord shows you places you can take to slow down and measure His grace in these hurried moments of the holidays and family. May you know, know, know… it is well with your soul. For He still reigns.

      Thankful for the good report on your sweet mother-in-law!

      xoxo

  5. *sigh*

    Just…

    *sigh*

    {{Yes, His shoulder, His hand… they’re there for you to sink into.}}

    Oh, how I needed this tonight. Thank you, sweet sister for such moving and compelling words; for such a picture of the mind, the heart.

    • Oh friend, I pray showers of fresh revelation of His rest. Just as was given to me through this dream. Every gap, nook, void poured into by His peace, His rest. Praying that for you tonight dear Danielle.

      Sinking in, refraining from that which douses rest, that which shuns hope. Leaning your head, entwining fingers.

      xoxo

  6. So, so encouraging sister… Exactly what the Lord wanted me to understand now. Wow. Thank you for sharing your heart…

    Blessings- Katie

  7. Sister, I know it took me a while to get a chance to read this beautiful post. I am glad I was able to savor it today, rather than rush through, cramming it into a busy day. Today I was able to enjoy your words, your reminder to simply Be Still. I know our situations are different, but today I needed to hear this message, that I need to stop wanting so badly something that isn’t to be mine…just yet. In the mean time, I must rest in Him, trust in Him, and savor the moments He has given me NOW.

    I love you!

    <3 Heather

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